Most parents say good-bye to their kids one at a time. But Stephanie Furstenau Asklof, a middle-school vice principal in Des Moi

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问题     Most parents say good-bye to their kids one at a time. But Stephanie Furstenau Asklof, a middle-school vice principal in Des Moines, Iowa, is the mother of twins. So last month she had the bittersweet pleasure of emptying the family nest in a single swoop when she and her husband dropped off daughters Adrienne and Tori at Northwestern University. Driving back home afterward, Asklof says, "I probably cried about halfway across Illinois. " Now, as she slowly adjusts to a quiet house, she’s grateful to be distracted by work and is still not sure what comes next. "I’ve got a chance to reinvent myself, " says Asklof, 5 2. But how?
1. A mass exodus from the nest
    For baby-boomer parents, life without kids often feels like suddenly slamming on the brakes after years in the fast lane. They’re the healthiest, wealthiest and best-educated generation of parents in human history, and they’ve poured their energy into making sure that their kids got the best of everything. Now a great number of kids are leaving their parents.
2. Anxieties of life without kids
    Nearly 30% of 18-year-olds come from single-parent families, which means greater separation anxiety for parents(and kids)because there’s really no one at home to talk to. Even in two-parent families, couples often face an unaccustomed silence across the dinner table without kids to make constant conversation. Some discover new ways to reinvigorate their marriages—moving from the suburbs to the city or planning a romantic holiday in Tuscany. But others struggle.
3. Schools now prepare parents for the empty nest
    In the old days, schools did next to nothing to prepare parents for the empty nest. It was, "Good-bye, honey. " and back to the highway. But now the transition has become so fraught that many colleges have begun adding special sessions for parents to the freshman orientation schedule.
4. Some parents are happy with life without kids
    After the first few weeks many parents find that it’s not so bad to live in a clean, peaceful house with only one load of laundry a week.
5. Stay-at-home moms have the chance to plan their new life
    In the past, the empty nest often seemed toughest on stay-at-home moras, who made raising children their career. That’s still true, but now many say they also see a chance for a new start.
    Despite rough moments in the first few weeks, most parents usually have settled into a routine by Thanksgiving, just in time for another rite of passage: the First Visit Home. Parents may be looking for quality time, but the kids are usually eager to hang out with their high-school friends. Mark Turnowski, who’s been through the drill with his older daughter, Lauren, 25, says the best approach is to welcome them home without too many restrictions on their time. "Parents are there for warmth and security, " he says, "and then you have to step away. " That gives them the space they need to stand on their own—and make their parents proud.
[A]Sophia Bender’s father, Thomas, a history professor at New York University, says one of the "everyday emptinesses" he feels is at breakfast, when the family would read The New York Times and chat.
[B]A few weeks ago, Shanda Schneider sent her youngest daughter, Molly, 18, off to Northwestern University. As Molly’s departure grew closer, she made plans. Last month she started commuting to DePaul University to get a master’s degree in public service. Planning her new life was important, she says, because her husband, Joseph, 51, a surgeon, works long hours.
[C]"What has surprised me is how happy some parents are to be empty nesters, " says New York child psychiatrist Alvin Rosenfeld. That’s especially true for working mothers, who no longer feel so torn.
[D]The goal is to convince mom and dad that letting go is a good thing—even if it means that their kid might make a few mistakes along the way.
[E]Psychologists who study marriage say the first year without kids is typically the second most stressful adjustment in a marriage; ironically, the only more perilous period is the first year of parenthood.
[F]Over the next few years the number of high-school graduates will rise steadily to a peak of 3. 2 million in 2008, the largest class ever.

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