You are to write in no less than 120 words on the topic of "What would you consider an ideal work environment?" You may base you

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问题 You are to write in no less than 120 words on the topic of "What would you consider an ideal work environment?" You may base your composition on the Chinese clues given below and put your composition on the ANSWER SHEET.
工作环境包括很多方面:空间、设施、温度、光线、噪音、人员……
    我想要的理想的工作环境是……
    理想的工作环境的效用是……

选项

答案 Many businesspeople spend a larger part of their time in the workplace than at home today. Consequently, work environment means much to them, and the important components of a work environment should be reckoned with to make it more comfortable and appealing. They are space, facilities, temperature, light, noise level, staff members, and so forth. All these components combined will ultimately determine the true happiness at the workplace. To me, an ideal work environment should be a nice and positive one where I can establish friendly and cooperative partnership with my colleagues, where my ideas are valued, my efforts are recognized, and my creativity is encouraged, and where I have sufficient room for growth and ample opportunities of professional development. Also, it should be a place where I am fully trusted and where I can see my contributions to the business. An ideal work environment is of great significance. It not only has a direct impact on the physical and emotional health as well as job satisfactions of the employees, but also helps to increase efficiency and productivity when employees feel happy to work within it.

解析     文章第一段用简洁、清楚的语言将第一个要点完整、准确地阐述了出来。而第一、二两句则通过简单说明工作环境的重要性,突出了讨论理想工作环境这一话题的必要性和意义所在,对于下文的深入,起到了抛砖引玉的作用。
    文章第二段第一个句子具有承上启下的作用,使得上下文间的过渡非常自然、流畅。在第二段中,作者围绕第二个要点,详细阐述了“我”理想的工作环境是什么。作者通过使用平行结构where I can…, where my ideas are…, and where I have…以及where I am…and where I can…,将“我”理想的工作环境清楚、完整地描述了出来:友好、合作的同事关系;个人意见能得到重视,个人努力能得到认可,个人创造力能受到鼓励;能得到公司信任,并能看到自己的努力成果等。
    文章第三段通过not only…,but also…引导的并列结构,简洁、明了地点明理想工作环境的重要性,即效用:增进员工的身心健康,提高员工的满足感;提高公司的效率和生产能力等
    整篇文章紧扣主题,内容充实,观点明确,对三个要点的阐述非常清晰、完整。文章结构完整,层次分明,脉络清晰;文章内部衔接与过渡非常自然、流畅,并且具有很强的关联性和逻辑性。文章语言准确、流畅,用词面较宽,句式变换多样。如文章第二段中的sufficient和ample,growth和development用不同的词表达相同的含义,体现出用词面较宽。此外,作者非常灵活自如地使用简单句、并列句、复合句等不同的句式,体现出句式多变。因此,文章从内容、语言、结构等方面,都体现出作者较强的表达水平和语言使用能力。
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