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  3. Marriage is big lately; actually it’s unmarriage that seems to be capturing our attention. From the award-winning American Beaut

Marriage is big lately; actually it’s unmarriage that seems to be capturing our attention. From the award-winning American Beaut

admin2014-04-23  28
问题     Marriage is big lately; actually it’s unmarriage that seems to be capturing our attention. From the award-winning American Beauty to the Bruce Willis-Michelle Pfeiffer movie, The Story of Us, the institution of marriage is being turned inside out, and it’s not a pretty sight. To judge by these films, modern marriage involves a lot of broken crockery and busted expectations. While many current Hollywood depictions of marriage may be overly pessimistic, statistics in America are alarming: each year half as many Americans get divorced as marry.
    Marriage counselors say couples often choose to separate as a last-ditch effort to change their relationship, and possibly themselves, "Many trial separations don’t work because they’re not ’authentic’. They’re just one person’s way of getting out of the relationship," says Harriet Lerner, author of the book The Dance of Anger. But a separation can give couples time to calm down, renegotiate the rules of the relationship and gain some needed distance.
    For a separation to work, it needs to be well defined. Constance Ahrons, director of the Marriage and Family Therapy Training program at the University of Southern California, says "structured separations" tend to be the most productive. Couples facing separation do best if they establish some basic ground rules first. They should mutually agree on the length of the separation—Ahrons says three to six months is average—and both must continue to work on their own problems during that time, either with or without a counselor.
    Couples should agree not to see lawyers during their separation. Lawyers have a way of moving marriage toward divorce. During their period of trial separation couples should not pursue each other at all, either to fight or to reconcile, but should agree in advance on what kind of contact they will have. Separated couples can agree to speak on the phone for a prearranged period, for instance, or meet once a week. Some therapists advise their clients to agree not to talk to each other about their relationship during these encounters and to use the time apart to reflect on their own lives and see what they can change about themselves. If there are children involved, Ahrons says, both parties need to agree on all the ground rules having to do with kids. Parents should also be aware that repeated separations and reconciliations are difficult and confusing for children.
    Ahrons says a separation, while painful, can help keep the anger down and give a couple time to think. If both are unsure about the future of the marriage, it can provide a time-out, during which they can see what life would be like without the other. "Sometimes," Ahrons says, "a separation can lead back into marriage. Sometimes it leads to divorce. But if couples are able to clarify things, it will improve their marriage—or, make their divorce better. "
Which of the following is not included in the advantages of separation between a couple?
选项 A、To get rid of the relationship as a couple.
B、To provide time to cool off for the couple.
C、To discuss about the regulations of their relationship again.
D、To obtain certain necessary distance between the couple.
答案A
解析 问题问下面哪一个不是夫妇间分居所带来的好处。根据文章第二段内容，婚姻问题咨询专家说，夫妻双方通常把分居作为改变双方关系的最后一次努力。《愤怒之舞》一书的作者哈里特·勒纳说：“许多夫妇尝试过分居，但没有成功，这是因为他们的分居不是‘真正意义上的’分居，而是一方摆脱婚姻关系的方式。”不管怎样，分居的确能让夫妻双方有时间静心思考，重新商讨双方的关系规则，使双方保持必要的距离。由此我们可以推断出本题的正确答案应是A，摆脱夫妇问的婚姻关系。
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