Divorce: Balance of Power It makes no sense to say that a good marriage requires parity, as most marriages in the world and

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问题     Divorce: Balance of Power
    It makes no sense to say that a good marriage requires parity, as most marriages in the world and throughout history have been based on entirely different principles. You might even conclude from America’ s unusually high divorce rate that the expectation of equality and personal fulfillment is itself a more problematic prescription than that of honor and obedience.
    Or perhaps the problem lies not in equality, but in the ambivalence that inevitably surrounds atitanic cultural shift only decades old. Many women today still sign up for marriages in which the man, to some extent, dominates. Traditionally those marriages have ended when the stronger party tires of the dependent. When Harriet Newman Cohen began practicing matrimonial law three decades ago, her clients were mostly women whose breadwinners had walked out. But she and others have observed that today, it is as often the weaker party who calls it quits, tired of a role that is no longer culturally sanctioned. And, once equitable distribution laws—which forced the higher-earning spouse to share the wealth equitably—were passed in the 80’ s, there was no longer any financial penalty for divorce.
    Today, almost as many women as men file for divorce. Infidelity, in addition, is no longer a primarily male province. One divorced investment banker discovered that, within his circle of male friends, it was their wives who cheated, not they. " In the culture of my firm, having affairs is just bad behavior, like drunk driving—something that could harm your reputation," he says. Female infidelity, on the other hand, he says, reads differently. " They’ re finding themselves, exploring their sexuality," he observed bitterly. " She was fragile and neurotic and I was the white knight. I made her feel taken care of and she made me feel strong—right up until the day she left. "

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答案 离婚:权力的均衡 由于古往今来世界上大多数人的婚姻是以完全不同的原则为基础的,所以,好的婚姻需要平等这种说法是没有什么意义的。从美国奇高的离婚率,也可以得出这样的结论:在婚姻中期待彼此尊重、夫妻和谐已经不大容易,指望获得两性平等、实现自我就更是难上加难。 或许问题并不在于平等不平等,而在于仅仅最近数十年来所发生的文化巨变,使人们不可避免地对婚姻产生矛盾的态度。在今天的许多婚姻中,男人仍在某种程度上占据主导地位,妇女不得不屈于遵从。从传统上看,这些婚姻总是在强势的一方对依附的一方产生厌烦情绪时宣告结束。哈莉特?纽曼?科恩三十年前开始从事婚姻方面的法律工作时,她的当事人大多是由于挣钱养家的丈夫离开而被抛弃的妇女。而现在科恩和其他人都注意到,往往是弱势的一方,不甘于其不再被文化认可的角色而提出结束婚姻。而且,自从80年代通过了财产公平分割法,迫使收入高的配偶与对方平分财产,离婚就再也不遭受任何经济上的损失了。 如今,提出离婚的人当中,女子和男子人数基本相当。而且,不忠行为也不再仅仅限于男人。一位离了婚的投资银行家发现,在他的男性朋友圈子里,不忠的是妻子,而不是他的这些朋友。他说:“在我们的公司文化中,有外遇和酒后驾车一样,都是不良行为,都会损坏你的名誉。”但是,女性不忠便有不同的解读。“她们是在发现自我,探索自己的性能力,”他苦涩地说道。“她比较脆弱,神经质,而我是白马王子。我让她觉得受人照顾,她让我觉得自己很强壮——直至她离开的那一天。”

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