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  3. I’m having a bit of an existential crisis. According to a new research, if I’m anything like the average person, around half the

I’m having a bit of an existential crisis. According to a new research, if I’m anything like the average person, around half the

admin2019-08-08  29
问题    I’m having a bit of an existential crisis. According to a new research, if I’m anything like the average person, around half the people I consider my friends don’t consider me theirs in return. Of course, I already knew unbalanced friendships existed. But in every case I can think of, it’s me who’s not especially invested, and the other person who doesn’t realise it. I’m not supposed to be the desperate one. Yet if studies such as this are correct, the phenomenon is so widespread that it’s highly unlikely I’m an exception. 【F1】As with the famous finding that almost everyone thinks they’re in the top 60% of safe drivers, we can’t all be the ones with an accurate sense of who really likes us.
   And if we’re stumbling through life with such a distorted understanding of our social circles, where does that leave all the other received wisdom about friendship’s importance? 【F2】It has been found that friends keep us mentally healthy, alive for longer, less vulnerable to depression and more financially successful—but how much of that comes from actually having friends, versus believing that you do?
   Perhaps it shouldn’t be surprising to learn that, when it comes to friendship, we’re in the grip of an ego-boosting mistaken belief. 【F3】People with healthy self-esteem habitually overestimate both their interpersonal skills and their control over events; some psychologists argue that mildly depressed people have a more accurate grasp of their abilities than the non-depressed. To thrive in the world, it’s often more useful to feel good about yourself than it is to see things as they are.
   Oh, and one more reason not to go mad about the thought that your "friends" might secretly not like you: this particular study, as with so many in social psychology, focused on university students. It’s well-known that our social circles shrink as we mature. 【F4】But isn’t it possible that this shrinkage is better thought of as a kind of separating, as we zero in on those friendships that are actually reciprocated? There are certainly reasons to worry about a loneliness crisis among the elderly, but having only a few friends may not be good evidence for it 【F5】If I make it to my final years with only a handful of friendships, because life has filtered them down to the ones that really count, I’m not sure I’d call that a sad state of affairs. I’d call it an efficient use of my remaining time.
【F4】
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答案由于我们把注意力放在那些实际已得到回应的友谊上，那把这种社交圈的缩小看作是一种主动分开不是更好吗?
解析 ①本句是主从复合句，包含一个原因状语从句。主句为反问句，isn’t it possible that可以解读为肯定句it is possible that…，that引导主语从句。②this shrinkage指的是上句中的our social circles shrink as we mature，“随着年龄的增长，我们的社交圈在不断缩小”；is better thought of as a kind of separating中，better thought of表示“看作……更好”，a kind of separating意思为“一种分开”。整句话大意为，把社交圈的缩小看成人与人之间的一种分开更好。③as引导原因状语从句，as意为“由于”，zero in on意为“把注意力集中于某事”；该句中的that引导定语从句，修饰先行词friendships，说明这是一种“得到回应的友谊”。
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