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The Effectiveness of a Person
    Today, we shall talk about the 5 key elements that contribute to the effectiveness of a person in modern society. An effective man or woman is expected to acquire the following qualities.
    First of all, an effective person should believe there is no such thing as perfection.
    Actually this is a self evident truth. There is nothing in the world that is perfect. Those who believe in perfection cause misery for themselves and others. They believe that there is nothing else for them to do because things are perfect already. Alternatively, people who believe in perfection, believe that nothing is good enough because it is not perfect. Effective people know there is always something else which can be done to improve things, and by the same token that they will never actually make something perfect, so the solution is acceptable when it is optimum. There are optimum solutions, not perfect ones.
    Secondly, an effective person should believe the basic intention of life, the universe, people, etc, is relatively good.
    People always believe that they are right and are doing good, from their own perspective. Even the most evil person from our perspective believes he or she is doing right. Otherwise, they wouldn’t be doing what they are doing! No one holds a false belief. No one says, "I believe this" and add, "but I know it is false."They always believe they are right. Even a person who says they are evil, believes what they are doing is right and good. If we believe that people are evil, we may become frightened of them and react to them unpleasantly, and they in turn will behave worse to us.
    When we believe that things are basically good, then we begin to understand them better. If we think someone is evil, we will imagine that we cannot influence them or we will try to influence from our belief-value that they are bad. This will never be effective, because they believe they are good, and doing what is right, so they will never relate to our belief that they are bad. By believing they do, even bad things, from a good intention we can better understand them and begin to influence them, because we take the trouble to understand them and how they think, rather than to fight them head on in terms of the values of good and bad.
    Thirdly, an effective person should seek only obtaining a result, a decision, a change, not to win or lose.
    When we seek to win, we become anxious about the result. We may procrastinate and do nothing to win because we might lose. The effective person, because they can happily win or lose, and because they seek a result, they do not fear asking for what they want or doing what they think will lead to their goal. This does not mean that the effective person doesn’t want to win, or sometimes lose. It means that they know that without getting a decision, taking action or non-action, that they are losing already. Losing is the normal state. Therefore, it cannot be good or bad, it’s where we start off from. So by taking action or non-action or getting the decision they have nothing to lose, and can only gain, if not on this occasion, then in the future.
    Here we have an irony, that by seeking to win, we increase our likelihood of losing.
    Fourthly, an effective person should believe there is no failure or success, only feedback, knowledge.
    This belief links to the previous one. The Effective person does not fear failure, because he or she does not believe in failure or success. They obtain feedback. This does not mean that the Effective person doesn’t want to succeed. It means that they will succeed because they seek feedback. This leads to the next belief.
    Last but not the least, an effective person should act with integrity and honesty.
    One of the great secrets of a successful and happy life is to act with integrity and honesty. When we were little children we were told we should be honest, and we were told this meant telling the truth. We were given this simple meaning because we were too young and inexperienced to fully understand the success technique of honesty and integrity. Of course, telling the truth got us into a lot of trouble. Even adults will say, "Well, I was telling the truth. It was right."
    Of course, telling the truth is important and is a big part of integrity and honesty. But it clearly means more than this, and telling the truth is not an essential part. Moral qualities, that is, ways of living our life successfully, are good. And sometimes telling the truth is bad, as when this causes great upset in the other person for no good reason. This is not acting with honesty and integrity! Although it is better to tell the truth, it is not always better to tell it! Some people are verbally incontinent and will tell you everything, even personal things, and this is not behaving with integrity and honesty.
    Today, we talked about the five qualities of the effectiveness of a person; of course, no one can properly define these concepts, we all know what they mean. By putting aside our childish definitions, we can understand and live these concepts and reap all the benefits.