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  3. If you want to teach your children how to say sorry, you must be good at saying it yourself, especially to your own children. Bu

If you want to teach your children how to say sorry, you must be good at saying it yourself, especially to your own children. Bu

admin2015-10-05  26
问题     If you want to teach your children how to say sorry, you must be good at saying it yourself, especially to your own children. But how you say it can be quite tricky.
    If you say to your children "I’m sorry I got angry with you, but ..." what follows that "but" can render the apology ineffective: "I had a bad day" or "your noise was giving me a headache" leaves the person who has been injured feeling that he should be apologizing for his bad behavior in expecting an apology.
    Another method by which people appear to apologize without actually doing so is to say "I’m sorry you’ re upset" : this suggests that you are somehow at fault for allowing yourself to get upset by what the other person has done.
    Then there is the general, all covering apology, which avoids the necessity of identifying a specific act that was particularly hurtful or insulting, and which the person who is apologizing should promise never to do again. Saying "I’m useless as a parent" does not commit a person to any specific improvement.
    These pseudo-apologies are used by people who believe saying sorry shows weakness, Parents who wish to teach their children to apologize should see it as a sign of strength, and therefore not resort to these pseudo-apologies.
    But even when presented with examples of genuine contrition, children still need help to become a ware of the complexities of saying sorry. A three-year-old might need help in understanding that other children feel pain just as he does, and that hitting a playmate over the head with a heavy toy requires an apology. A six-year-old might need reminding that spoiling other children’ s expectations can require an apology. A 12-year-old might need to be shown that raiding the biscuit tin without asking permission is acceptable, but that borrowing a parent’ s clothes without permission is not.
If a mother adds "but" to an apology, ______.
选项 A、she doesn’ t feel that she should have apologized
B、she does not realize that the child has been hurt
C、the child may find the apology easier to accept
D、the child may feel that he owes her an apology
答案D
解析 在道歉后说but也就是解释道歉的理由。本题考查对第二段的理解。第二段首先指出在道歉之后说but的直接结果：what follows that“but”can render the apologyineffective，but后面的话可能会使道歉无法产生效果。而后作者对出现这一结果的原因做了解释，以“我今天过得不好”、“你吵闹的声音让我头疼”这二句为例，说明这些话会让孩子认为“he should be apologizing for his badbehavior in expecting an apology”，意思是他也应该为引来父母的道歉而表示道歉。四个选项中含有这个意思的是D。
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